Do you ever have those days where you dread going or logging into work? I was having those almost every single day and I couldn’t figure out why because on paper my job was perfect: senior level job in oil and gas, 7 weeks of time off, an amazing benefits plan, skilled coworkers, great leader, and interesting work. Even with this great job (and trying to remain thankful I still had a job in the middle of the pandemic), I was left feeling unsatisfied with how I was spending my days, and annoyed at myself for not being content.
I was experiencing feelings of discontentment for years and it wasn’t something I could shake. I felt like my purpose was bigger than sitting at a desk all day rocking out Human Resources work. In a desperate attempt to receive divine guidance, while walking to my chiropractor's office last summer, I asked the universe to show me the way and promised to surrender to whatever happened next. Serendipitously, my chiropractor informed me she was renting out the adjacent room in her building. I honoured the promise I made minutes before and rented the small studio room on 11th Avenue in downtown Calgary for one year. My clients came from all over: friends, family, coworkers, internet searches, passersby, referrals, friends of friends, you name it. I would go from my downtown office job to the studio one to three times per week. I was grateful for the space and time to do my healing work. It made me feel a bit more content, but I still knew in my heart there was bigger work to be done, so I continued the search.
Then the COVID-19 pandemic happened and it changed my life. The world shutdown and we were physically forced to go inside our homes, however, the messages I kept hearing were clear: we were being asked to go inside OURSELVES. In May of 2020 I started meditating seriously for an hour every day. I also started a yoga teacher training course and was doing yoga for an hour every day. Two hours a day of slowing down the outside world and focusing on my inner self changed me. I recognized thoughts and emotions within myself that had been left unnoticed and unfelt because I had created a busy outer world. The energy surrounding the pandemic was asking us to go inside our minds and body's and experience life from within, instead of chasing something external. I continued the 'work' the universe was telling me to do and went inwards to explore what was there. Although I had what I considered a 'spiritual awakening' years earlier, this new stage of my life brought new insights to the surface. I started to truly release fear, anger, guilt, and all the lower vibrations holding me back from being my authentic self. My inner voice became my outer voice and my love for myself started shining through.
What made me quit my corporate job was a 'defining moment'. In the final week of my yoga teacher training we were practicing yoga blindfolded and the teacher queued us into a posture...then didn't say another word...for two hours. Being in my head, in a state of confusion, with only myself to examine, was life changing. I felt anger ripple in and evaporate away. I felt fear rise and slowly fade away. I felt sadness peek in and leave through tears. I felt nauseous, and in a moment of clarity I asked myself "why do I feel sick to my stomach?". The answer came back in full force - I was not living the life I was meant to. My soul was yearning to live a dedicated life aimed at uplifting the collective consciousness. The next morning I resigned from my big fancy HR job to give myself the gift of time to live in a more authentic way. I've discovered my purpose and have unlocked the golden handcuffs. I will now spend my days empowering others to look at their shadows in an effort to elevate humanity to higher vibrations.
Some of you reading this may have found your passion and are living authentically, but I know many of you are not. As a claircognizant, I know people are ignoring the whispers of their soul and instead are living a life painted by a false sense of truth. Society has taught us to live a life of false success - go to school, get a job, build a family and have many material possessions. Happiness will not be found by building an externally pleasant life. Our souls want us to find our passions and live authentically to our own truth.
So I ask you dear reader...are you happy? If fear wasn’t in the way, what could you do? What is your passion? How can you use your gifts to help others? Humans were meant to live out our passions. Find it. Become whole. Let the light shine through you.
May you love and be the light.
"In oneself lies the whole world and if you know how to look and learn, the door is there and the key is in your hand. Nobody on earth can give you either the key or the door to open, except yourself." ~Jiddu Krishnamurti
P.S. Check out the rest of my website while you're here!